12 Months Old

One year ago today I gave birth to a Blue-eyed Monster Boy.

After the awful that was yesterday, today I feel a little better.  In fact last night I felt a little better.  I don’t know if it was the good cry I had in the shower, the wine or Rob and I assembling birthday presents together.  Whatever it was, it worked.

I think I was so upset, not because it’s going to rain or because of my messy house,  but because I was reminded of how nothing went the way I wanted it to this time last year for his birth.  I’m trying to allow myself to feel these feelings while enjoying my boy’s first birthday.  It’s a fine line to walk, being on the edge of an emotional breakdown and enjoying the day and actually having a good time and not just putting on a happy face for everyone.

I’ve got some little things planned for the boy today.  Things like a first PB&J and maybe a special cupcake and a few presents.  It’s going to be a good day.

To my sweet little Monster Boy,

I truly cannot believe that you’re already one year old.  This last year has not been easy for either of us, but I think we’re finally hitting our stride.  I could sit here and tell you how much fun it is watching you grow up, and watching you learn is one of the most amazing things, but you know all of this because I tell you every single day.  Basically I think you’re quite possibly the greatest thing ever, and I never thought I could love something so much.  I know, every parent says that, but it’s true.  Sometimes I look at your fat face with your blonde curls bouncing on your head and I think my heart might explode.  You’re my favorite thing in the world.

I love you Monster.  Happy Birthday.

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5 thoughts on “12 Months Old

  1. It’s amazing how he kinda looks the same but also has totally grown this last year! Also, I just saw your tag of “sappy family crap” which made me giggle. I have nothing but mad love for this family and I hope to be seeing your face soon, lady. (:

    • I know! Looking at photos of him as a tiny boy and then seeing him now, it’s just amazing. Growing up’ll do that to you:) Now that our lives are finally settling down, I would love to see you!

  2. Oh Claire, how sweet. Is this your first grandchild? In one picture, he has your eyes! Grandchildren are so wonderful. Ariel will be due Aug.16th and my other grandbaby turns 3 next month. How blessed we are!

    Love and much happy play- time, Kathy

    • Thank you so much! They’re fun photos, but getting increasingly difficult to take due to a wiggly little boy:)

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