It’s tired in here.

I’m tired.

Max has been getting up earlier and earlier it seems and it’s really taking it’s toll.  Last night he woke up at 3:50 and went back to sleep just after 4:00.  The night before last he woke up at about 3:15 and didn’t go back to sleep until after 4:30.  Rob and I spent that hour + racking our brains on how to get him back to sleep while taking turns in his room with him.  I could spend hours trying to figure out what the hell his problem is (Teething? He does have 3, almost 4, new teeth coming in.  Is he not feeling well?  No fever, no runny nose no cough.  No visible signs of illness.  No dirty diaper.  Etc.).  He woke up at 5:37 this morning.  I went in his room, made sure he had his pacifier, tucked him back in (for, like, the 1938435w94657th time tonight) and went back to bed.  About 10 seconds after closing his door he started screaming.

He was ready to get up.  I was not.

In my mind, getting up before 7:00 should be illegal.  That being said, Max’s new “normal” wake up time is 6:00.  On. The.  Dot.  Except for today, of course.  Or any morning where I’ve been out the night before.

It’s like he knows I was out late consuming alcoholic beverages and wants to punish me for it.  Thankfully, Rob has gotten up with him the last couple of times he’s tried to punish me.

It’s really hard to be in a good mood when you’re woken up every morning by a whiny, crying toddler hollering at you. It’s also really hard to keep my anger in check on these mornings, especially when he’s being all clingy and super whiny.  I try to tell myself that it’s no big deal and just go on with my day, and some days it works.  And some days it doesn’t and I snap at him and feel guilty about it.  Some mornings I feel resentful towards him for making me get up at such an ungodly hour.  And then I feel guilty about feeling resentful.  I know these are all things all parents feel, but it’s something I think I need to work on.  I shouldn’t be that angry that he woke up early.  I just need to learn to not let it get to that point.I just want to see more of this.

I’m not asking for advice or answers.  Because in a few weeks his sleep pattern will change, AGAIN.  Because it always does.  And if it doesn’t I’m just going to have to accept the fact that Max is a Dark and Early Morning Person, and I’m an After the Sun Rises at a Reasonable Hour Morning Person.  I’ll probably need help in the form of quadruple shot espresso drinks, 5 Hour Energy Shots, crates of Red Bull and cocaine.  I hear that stuff really gets you going.  (I kid, I kid!  Geez, relax.)

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5 thoughts on “It’s tired in here.

  1. Hey Erin! Your blog is awesome and even though I am not a mother, I can only assume that by you sharing your honest feelings about parenting you are probably making a lot of people feel reassured about their own feelings! It’s good to hear the honest truth about parenting when I feel like people sometimes try to project that they have perfect children and that they are perfect parents. Anyhoo, love your writing! Keep it up!

    • Thank you, Hannah! When I was pregnant I read a lot of mom blogs, some that sugar coated everything and some that spoke the truth about parenthood, and I told myself I would always tell the truth. No matter how painfully shitty it may be:)

  2. Even though you’re not seeking advice or answers (of which I have neither), I could have read the above and thought you’ve been writing about the last few months with my toddler. A toddler who is inexplicably awake for 1-2 hours each night. And not so happy about being awake, and not so willing to go back to sleep.

    So maybe, just maybe, it’s not teething or anything else. Seasonal? Eh. Developmental? Maybe?

    • OMG. That’s it. That’s exactly what’s going on!! I completely forgot about all the sleep regressions! Although, I do feel up until about 14 months he was in a regression:P But now I feel like there’s an end in sight, and I can try to be a little more patient. Good luck to you and your little one and let’s hope this ends soon for all of us!

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