18 Months Old

A year and a half.  Yeesh.  My Max is growing growing growing.His cheeks are plump and sososo kissable and pinchable and edible.  Not really edible, but I fear one day I just might chomp down on them because, well, just look at them.He had his 18 month checkup today.  It wasn’t great.  The shots are one thing, but there’s some other stuff happening that led to him having to have blood drawn and a urine sample taken.  You know how they take a urine sample from a toddler?  They put this little adhesive pouch on and just wait for him to do his thing.  So after the shots we sat in the exam room and played with toys had some snacks and the nurse even gave us some bubbles.

So these other things.  For the last 5 weeks or so Max has had random fevers ranging from 99-102.7 degrees, 2 to 3 days a week.  At first I chalked it up to teething because last week he got two more teeth (total of 14).  He’s had no other symptoms of illness besides the fever.  The doctor said if he has a random fever again, I am to bring him in immediately.  Today was the first time since he was born that his pediatrician heard a heart murmur.  Max had a heart murmur at birth.  He said it’s not uncommon to have a murmur, and the kind he has is just the blood moving.  Of course I’m screaming on the inside by now.  He had the urine sample and blood taken to run tests for anything that could be causing these random fevers.  So now we just play the waiting game.  He does this thing with his eyes where he kind of bats them slowly and his eyes sort of roll a little.  The first time I noticed it was a while ago just around the house while playing.  Then he started doing it, and continues to do it, when he meets new people or is just being shy.  He did it to the doctor today and he asked me how often he does that.  I told him he mostly does it when he meets new people and he said it could just a social thing but to watch how often and in what kind of situations he does it in because it could suggest seizures.  GREAT.  To top it off he has referred us to a speech therapist and wants a hearing test ran on him.

He’s 18 months old and doesn’t say one word.  He says “eh”, and uses inflection when doing so.  He babbles and uses consonants and vowels.  I’m not, and haven’t been worried about his speech.  He understands what we say and he can communicate with sign language (it’s incredible!) and his little grunts and pointing.  And hearing?  He seems to hear just fine.  He hears the bedroom door open in the morning when Rob gets up and runs to greet him.  He can hear the dogs barking outside.  He hears airplanes and points up and says “EEEEEEHHHH” excitedly.  I’m just not worried about his speech development at this point.  I just feel like this is one  of those ‘every baby develops at their own pace’ type of things.  I’m really curious to know other parents’ experiences with speech development.  Besides all the health stuff, he’s a happy guy.  For the most part.  I think when he and I spend time apart during the day it does us both some good and we have an easier time.  He does have his big tantrums almost daily.  Lately they include kicking, hitting and spitting and of course yelling and crying.  But the spitting is my favorite (NOT).

I really wanted this post to be a happier one but after our doctor visit today I just can’t seem to find those words.  I know he’ll be fine, no matter what it is or isn’t.  I just really hate, as I’m sure all parents do, being told that there’s something wrong with your child.  Something wrong with their body and we don’t know what it is.He’s an amazing little boy.  Full of belly laughs and little giggles sugar and spice and everything (naughty) and nice.  He’s such an independent little guy and doesn’t mind adventuring on his own while I watch from afar.

I just love this kid.

11 Months

Before I even started typing this, I started crying.  Only one more month until my baby isn’t a baby anymore.

How do parents do this, watch their babies grow up, and not lose their shit?

I know the next stage is going to be great, but I’m really going to miss this baby thing.  I was telling my mom the other day that the only memories I have of him as a tiny (ok, he was never really tiny) baby were only from pictures and videos we have.  My memory is so foggy from all the super awesome depression and anxiety in the beginning, not to mention the lack of sleep for the past year.  And to think, I used to be the one who remembered EVERYTHING.

I have been savoring every single moment with this guy.  Every noise and movement he makes is forever embedded into my memory.  The little coos he makes when he’s nursing, the monster growls, the squeals of joy, the mama’s dada’s and uh-bah!’s.  He hi-fives, low-fives and waves bye bye.  The crawling, on one or both knees, the army crawl, the kneeling and standing, and cruising.  Soon he’ll be walking, something I’m truly not ready for.  Cause that will mean he’s really not a baby anymore, he’ll be a toddler just toddling around on those fat legs, getting into everything I think he can’t get into.  I told Katrina I was going to break his kneecaps so he couldn’t walk.

These were taken after protesting an afternoon nap, which seems to be the popular thing to do these days.

Aside from naps he’s been sleeping fairly well (except for this last week, which I blame on him being sick and throwing him off.  THANKS COLD.).  One night, he slept 13 hours straight!  I don’t think I’ve ever slept that long, and I didn’t that night because I don’t think I’m capable of getting a full night’s sleep evereverever again.

Oh, that face.

I’m in the party planning mode, which is a lot of fun because I love playing hostess.  But, there’s so much going on this month, especially the days before his birthday that, as Rob said, I’m setting myself up for a shit show.  While that may be true, his party is going to be the greatest first birthday party of all time, hands down.  And I will be crying into my wine glass all day long.

On Teething and Sleep Deprivation

I’ve figured it out.  I finally get why I don’t sleep, why Max doesn’t sleep and why neither if us will sleep for a long, long time.

Of course new parents are sleep deprived, everyone and their dog knows this, but this sleep deprivation has gone to a whole new makes-me-want-to-injure-myself-so-I-can-stay-overnight-in-the-hospital-and-get-some-effing-sleep level.  And that’s not good.  I said something to the effect of “I’m going to stab myself so I have to be in the hospital overnight” (only half kidding) to my friend Katrina (who’s in grad school getting her masters degree in social work) and she told me if I kept talking like that she’d have me committed.  Hmmmm……

Anyhoo, I think about how out of my mind tired I am and how it effects my day to day life.  It’s been going on so long that I’ve had to figure out how to live with it, I have no other choice.  And then I think about Max and how his little baby body and brain deals with sleep deprivation, and it isn’t good.  Babies, and people of all ages for that matter, need the proper amount of sleep to go through day to day life.

When Max was 4 or 5 months old I’d tell myself that by the time he was 10 months old he’d be sleeping through the night, and maybe Rob and I could get away for an overnighter.  Shit, was I wrong.  There are so many things that can cause a baby to sleep badly, but there’s one thing that I’m blaming for this whole damn mess.  Teething.

Babies can be ‘teething’ for weeks or even months without any visible sign of an actual tooth (which is just plain mean on Mother Nature’s part).  So imagine going through weeks of agonizing pain in your mouth and not being able to tell someone to remedy it.  That’s what babies go through every single time a new tooth erupts.  Basically what I’m saying is, babies are always teething.  Even when you don’t think that’s what’s wrong, it is.

Last night the kid wouldn’t eat his dinner, he was incredibly whiney and clingy.  I laid him down and started inspecting his mouth thinking I wouldn’t find anything.  I saw a white spot on the top left part of his gummy little mouth.  I shoved my finger in there and felt a sharp poke.  The poor kid has a friggin’ molar coming in.  I immediately grabbed him a teething ring, some ibuprofen and teething tablets.  About a half hour later he was back to himself.

The conclusion I’ve come to is that babies are constantly teething, and until Max has all of his teeth, or until he can toughen up and handle the pain (kidding!), neither of us will sleep.  Until then we’ll be up 6-10 times a night, sometimes more, rarely less, cuddling and nursing back to sleep.  Or I’ll just down a bottle of NyQuil.  That should knock us both out.

Who punched my baby in the mouth?

Teething is a bitch.  I swear Max has been teething for what seems like FOREVER.  The last few days we’ve finally seen the white of tooth number 3 coming through.  But the thing is, the tooth hasn’t actually broken through yet.  Throughout the day I shoved my finger in his mouth to feel for it and nothin’.  Well, tonight I took a peek in there and was horrified to see BLACK GUMS.

My immediate thought was Holy shit, he’s got some crazy infection from me sticking my finger in his mouth.  Then I thought Did he fall smack his mouth on something and I didn’t know about it?  It looked like someone punched my marshmallow cheeked baby in the mouth.  What the hell happened??  After I came to my senses I consulted Dr. Google and found out that it is completely normal for teething babies to have bruising where new teeth are coming in.  Oh thank the sweet gods of cheese!  It’s just extreme teething!  So now we just wait for these suckers to poke through, which better happen soon because since I put him to bed at a little over three hours ago and he’s been up twice, and very unhappy.  I’ve covered all the teething bases with teething tablets, tylenol and the ointment stuff.  I hope it works because we both need the sleep.  Cross your fingers for new teeth in the morning!